I had my first experience with Relational Mindfulness & Insight Dialogue today at a workshop led by Janet Surrey and Gregory Kramer. It included practicing mindfulness in a dyad. The experience was Complex, Exciting, Emotive…
“Insight dialogue is a complimentary practice to Vipassana meditation. It is to develop consciousness, not only by ourselves but in relation to others. That other person can be wonderful or difficult, even threatening depending on the conditions. They can help us to develop our inner wisdom or become an obstacle. The practice of Insight Dialogue puts us in a direct relationship with the complexity of the inter-relational world and with the purifying power of presence when our consciousness is experiencing the here and now. Our fears that arise in relationship to others soften, our efforts to be seen diminish, our confidence with the ‘suchness’ of the moment strengthens.” (From: http://www.moulindechaves.org)
In Relational Mindfulness, one is to remain attentive to one’s feelings, thoughts, etc. while the other person in the dyad describes his/her own feelings, thoughts, etc. Awareness occurs three-fold: awareness of the self, of the other and of the flow of the relationship.
I must say that it was not easy. Over the course of the day, we paired up with three individuals we had not met previously. Okay, that was easy. The part of becoming aware of myself, staying in the moment but also be aware of my partner and the energy/flow exchange between us took a while to get a hold of. By the third time, it became easier. We all noticed how the experience got more comfortable as the day progressed and how much more intimate we became with one another as we stayed in the moment… Guided by the principles: pause, relax, open, trust emergence, listen deeply and speak the truth. I think having someone listen without speaking was poignant to a lot of us. Some comments at the end of the day reinforced this notion and made us realise how holding the gaze, nodding and simply “being” with the other sometimes is all you need at that moment.
It was a very interesting day. In another place and time, perhaps I would have dismissed the whole thing. At this point, however, it just makes better sense. I’m not sure I’ll get to share this type of mindfulness with someone I know, since the dynamics are more complex but it is something to consider. It is a new perspective; worth revisiting again & again.
