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Poesia

This Is Not An Exit

Written April 3, 2025

Losing sense who I was, who I am and who I will become

Open Letter To My Mother(s)
Heidy M

Since childhood I’ve aimed to please you.
Not always easy to do.
And at times, you’ve been hard to read.
But I’ve never lacked your love.

Everyone of your sacrifices has not gone unnoticed.
Your tears are my reasons to persevere.
Your worries are my wishes to make others smile.

Your generosity of spirit exudes through me.
Because of you, I know empathy.
Because of you, I know what I want in life.

In all these years, I’ve wanted you to know
You have done well by me…
By all of us.
I owe you many “thank yous” and “I love yous”.
But we’re the quiet type, you and I.
We feel it and we know it.

Please be happy for me today.
Love me for who I am now.
Not the little girl I once was,
nor the woman you wish I were.
You have taught me well, and
I am content.

Photo: HyeM.

What Would I Do Without This World
By Samuel Beckett

what would I do without this world faceless incurious
where to be lasts but an instant where every instant
spills in the void the ignorance of having been
without this wave where in the end
body and shadow together are engulfed
what would I do without this silence where the murmurs die
the pantings the frenzies towards succour towards love
without this sky that soars
above its ballast dust

what would I do what I did yesterday and the day before
peering out of my deadlight looking for another
wandering like me eddying far from all the living
in a convulsive space
among the voices voiceless
that throng my hiddenness

— from: Collected poems in English and French. Samuel Beckett. John Calder Publishers. London. 1977.

Photo: HyeM.